I believe that to some extent we all have issues that haven't been completely dealt with, which leads to low, or no self-confidence. Some more so than others. (I’m raising my hand so please don’t think I’m judging.) The effects of un-dealt with issues can be devastating to our growth and success.
As Marianne Williamson said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world."
The problem is that when we don’t believe in ourself, when we lack the confidence to believe we can succeed, we are right. Self doubt destroys potential whether it is in a relationship or business. I personally can make a big ugly looming mountain out of the tiniest mole hill because of low self confidence with just one hint at being rejected. Rejection for me has always been an issue, one that began as a young child. Therefore, rejection is a big trigger for me, whether it is real or imagined. What I have learned is that when I do this, when I give in to this negative and errant way of thinking, it completely blinds me to the truth. This in turn leads to negative thinking, such as, I’m not smart enough, pretty enough or talented enough. (Feel free to add you own negative thoughts.)
To get beyond my lack of confidence I had to dig deep and be honest with myself and with others about my shortcoming’s. Yes, that meant laying out the guilt, the shame and the pain, but it was then that I was able to let go and be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is scary but once you reach that place of vulnerability, you are free to be yourself with others because there is no longer a fear of being “found out as a fraud.” That may result in some people walking out of you life, but if they go, chances are they weren’t meant to be there in the first place….let them go!